Just laying back in the rack, and pondering. I am sixty-eight years old, and I hear more often these days of actors and musicians I’ve idolized while growing up, passing on; and so I too see the window on my life closing, and it saddens and frightens me.
I look around the pod and see all of the old people – incarcerated. Wheelchairs, walkers, and canes. It’s unfathomable that little, or, a great deal of misguided and apathetic effort has been put into the mix to get to where we are. I’ve been told that I’m the one who is misguided for seeing things as they are! That what the system is doing, has been doing all these years, works best, and I just don’t know any better.
It is true, many incarcerated have not been able to mature on an intellectual level; to think more rationally, decide more responsibly, and act more humanely, and generally, to just take better care of themselves. But they haven’t been provided an appropriate and effective opportunity to support becoming better human beings. Who’s fault is that?
It is even more true that those incarcerated have just tried to do the best they could, to make it from one day to the next…staying ignorant and apathetic about the world that surrounds them. It’s not their fault, for a person, a human being, will do that which they only know how to do! That’s why we’re in this dreaded place in life! It is this way, until the wake up call arrives, when the door may finally open, or not, and it is then change is desired, and the need to do so is thrust upon us in vain once more, for it takes years to undo that which has been the norm for so long.
The picture is simple! It’s about retribution. It always has been and will be for some time to come. It’s about fear, distain, apathy, and yes, ignorance. Those who are running out of resources and ideas to more effectively manage us, the window is closing for them too! Maybe just keep us as quiet and hidden as is possible. Pacify us just a little more! Maybe no one will notice!
These days, we cannot use certain words or phrases out of concern for offending the status quo. “Don’t say PTSD, it may trigger this or that!” “For that matter, don’t say the word “trigger” either.” At one point we were not inmates, we were offenders. More so, the worst of the worst! People are not “victims”, they’re “survivors”, or is it the other way around? These are not “correctional facilities”, they are “warehouses”, industrial complexes, constructed originally to only house those who truly posed a risk to society, but here we are!
There are many incarcerated who are not so ignorant as I claim above. They too can see! And I certainly applaud the efforts of many on the inside and outside of these razor-laden fences, who are working tirelessly to have those of us who have been ready, and deserve it, released. But, it has for some time now, amazed me how individuals and groups will throw around words, phrases, paragraphs, and essays, all in an effort to display for us in here, the change they promise to make, and the change that is coming. In the meantime, those of us in here throw around in the same fashion, our pain, sorrow, fears, and regrets. The ignorant always get their hopes up! Those of us who have been watching, paying attention, see that change just doesn’t happen, or feel nowadays, that it won’t happen in our lifetime!!
A couple of examples. Many of us will be gone (use that word as you will) by the time a “Second Look” bill is passed and have it change lives. Just how effective will that bill be when it becomes law? How long will it take to see results? Like so many others, how will it be circumvented, twisted, and suppressed with the line item veto? We’ve done so much time already, and we are in our late 60’s & 70’s, what difference will such a bill make for our lives then?
Thanks to VDOC Director Dotson and many others, an unbelievable amount of effort has created many positive changes with regards to the parole board. Much of that effort, however, has been circumvented, twisted, and suppressed as well. Practically no one is being released, still!
Out of fear, it seems no secret that behind it all has been the idea to keep us in here until we’re no longer physically and mentally able to re-offend. Yet, many new law people continue to serve less time than us older folks! Don’t get me started on “Earned Sentence Credit” or “Good Time Credit”. I’ve stopped earning anything a long time ago. How sad!
I am sixty-eight years old, and I hear more often these days of actors and musicians I’ve idolized while growing up, passing on; and so I too see the window on my life closing, and it saddens and frightens me.
-unanimous
